Christmas Collection
by Juniorstarcatcher
Summary: Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon gone.
1. Chapter 1

**Happy Christmas! So, these were written for a Secret Santa Fic exchange! The prompt for this one was Marlene/Remus with the prompt: Resolutions. It takes place after their time at Hogwarts! please read and review!**

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The countdown is ticking downward. Music reels, weaving its way through the room and between bodies like a serpent, wrapping couples together and resigning singles to themselves. The newest serpent, a chord progression of creeping excitement, pulls two bodies together, throwing the girl's arms around the boy's neck and pushing his body dangerously close to hers.

Marlene McKinnon beams up at Remus, her heart thudding against her chest and she pulls him close. Over the last year, their friendship grew from nothing at all to something very important indeed. And the few sips of liquor Sirius shoved into her married with the prospect and promise of a New Year fills her with something alien in this time of war: hope.

Remus Lupin, on the other hand, feels nothing but conflict brimming in his chest. His hands wander down Marlene's moving body, searching for a home that will be intimate and yet modest all at once. His eyes wander anywhere but her, and he says nothing as they cling to each other. Remus feels as if he is underwater; he cannot breathe, his sight blurs, and he hears everything as though he is listening through a stone wall. Everything about this is wrong. Marlene should not be in his arms. They are friends, he knows that. But he cannot help but feel like his heart is being ripped and stomped on by sharing the last few intimate moments of the old year with her. Remus could just strangle himself. This was a stupid whim to fulfill. When Marlene and he made promises to share the last dance of this year and the first kiss of the new year, he couldn't have been thinking straight. How could he share something so intimate with someone who didn't return his affections?

He loves Marlene. He can feel her presence and absence in his very bones. He can see nothing but her when his eyes close. She sees him like no one ever has. But he will never be anything more than a passing drunken fancy to her. He is someone to fill a New Year's void but never someone to love. These realizations hit him as his breathing steps in time with Marlene's, as her heart beat keeps rhythm with his, and her lips whisper the time as they inch ever closer to his.

"Five, four-"

The sound of the countdown pulls Remus from the deep waters of his head. The world comes into focus.

"I'm sorry-" he mutters, pushing the girl in his arms aside.

He shoves his way through the throngs of people cluttering the Potter's entertaining room before finally making his way into the blistering cold of the New Year's night. This is the Potter's backyard; he is alone out here with a dense forrest holding camp in the near distance. A thin light emanates from the house, playing on the fresh snow. The frigid winter wind shocks him, knocking full awareness. Once again, he breathes deeply, sees clearly, and hears everything.

The trees whisper wishes of good fortune to each other. The stars shout across the galaxies to give their brothers cheer. The snowflakes dance to some long forgotten tune. A door slams and footsteps break the packing of the freshly fallen snow. The sound grows as the feet near him, and then suddenly stop when they are still behind his turned back. And then there is the voice.

"You do know how to make a girl feel properly shitty."

Remus sighs and lets his chin drop downward as he closes his eyes for the briefest moment. Emotion is exhausting, he suddenly realizes. Loving this person is exhausting. Wanting her to love him back is exhausting. The whole business is exhausting and decidedly not worth it. Marlene folds her arms in front of her chest and looks down at the tracks his boots have made in the fresh fallen snow.

"I just had to get out. It's too much in there," Remus says.

Folding her lips inward, the girl nods, though not out of understanding. She is doing everything she possibly can to ignore the deep, palpitating hurt echoing from the pit of her stomach to the tip of her tongue.

"Yeah," she breathes, her entire body tensed at the cold and his rebuff.

Nothing meets her but silence and the sound of her own inadequacies using her heart as a punching bag. She is a fool, this Marlene McKinnon. So, she mutters a farewell and waves at him, though he cannot see her as he stares into the distance. Taking a few steps away, she tries to return to the party and save the night from total disaster. But the hurt raging in her chest pushes against her body, aching to be free. Unable to contain it, she lets it take over. She whips her body around and feels her voice steadily grow as she gets closer and closer to him. Marlene does that thing that Remus both loves most and hates most about her; she says exactly what she is thinking.

"You just can't hurt all of the people who try to love you, Remus. One day you're going to wake up and you won't have anyone left."

Folding his arms over his chest, The boy rests his weight on his hips and looks at the girl full in the eye. He snaps his words, letting the lash crack against the snowy quiet.

"Who are you to tell me anything about how to live my life?"

Marlene's voice gets quiet and deadly as she leans into him. The words come out frank and sincere, but she gains punch with each syllable.

"Well, it seems to me that I'm the only one out here who manages to give a shit about you."

This is the truth as Marlene sees it, and Remus can feel her honesty throttle him in the gut. He looks at her, his eyes wide and tired and hurt and begging. That exhaustion that rolls over him in waves finally makes itself known.

"Yeah, but you don't love me. Not like I wanted you to."

There is a long silence there. Neither really expected those words to actually come out of Remus' mouth. His eyes fall from hers, dropping the gaze.

"How could I fall in love with you if you never let me know you, Remus?"

The air is thick as the snow stops falling. There is a sense of what could have been and what might yet be and Marlene leaps off of the edge. She grabs Remus' shoulders and holds them with all of the passion she can muster.

"You know what my resolution was last year?"

He doesn't respond. He merely looks into the distance with his hands shoved firmly in his pocket.

"It was to talk to you," Remus allows his surprise to register on his face, "That was it."

She travels back down to that moment, and her eyes become a little lost as a smile finds its way on her face.

"At last year's New Year's Party, you were sitting in the corner of James' basement drinking and reading and pretending that no one else existed. And I promised myself that you would be my friend if it was the last thing that I did."

She thinks on that moment, that realization for a long time. Before that night, they never spoke though they ran in the same circles. And then, she saw him sitting there, and he looked as alone as she felt. Stepping away from the boy, she shrugs.

"But you wouldn't ever let me get close. So I guess I didn't help at all."

Remus grabs Marlene's hand in his own.

"You helped. You helped more than you'll ever know."

Her eyelids slide closed and Remus abandons her hands in favor of wrapping her in his arms. She sinks in his embrace.

"Would you have me now if I let you know me?"

Marlene smirks.

"I would be honored," she mutters against his chest.

A new snow falls, purifying the ground and covering all of their earlier tracks and dirt. Remus smiles.

"I promise, then. That's my resolution."


	2. Chapter 2

**Prompt: The Marauders and Fairy Lights**

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Find me those boys!"

When that phrase comes from Minerva McGonagall, the entire school- from First years to house elves- knows that the four marauders will be diving into hiding for quite a while. The morning begins as it always does for Minerva. Cup of tea. Biscuit to settle the stomach. Quick change of clothes and then off to breakfast in the Great Hall. But, this morning, the morning before the train is set to ship off her pupils to their homes for Christmas Holiday, the professor shuts the heaven oaken door to her room to find her classroom decked in fairy lights. And no ordinary fairy lights, either. Enchanted Fairy lights. The moment she even inches to raise her wand to remove the offending frivolity, the strand in question moves away, swinging to lay itself gracefully in another equally lovely place on the wall. The lights twinkle and sparkle, flashing white one moment, then red, and finally green. They spell cheery sentiments, like "Happy Christmas" and "Flitwick the Red-Nosed Professor." The lights are inescapable. They are everywhere in her classroom. Then, she realizes something with a sinking suspicion. Hers surely cannot be the only room like this.

She rushes to her classroom wall, the lights pushing away from her like a curtain, and throws open the window with a flourish, her chest rising and falling anxiously. When she opens her eyes to the outside world, her worst hopes are realized in the dim morning light. The entire castle is covered in the obnoxious lighting, sending dancing light across the thick blanketing of snow across the terrain. Her shrill voice, still warm from her morning tea, breaks across the still morning. There can be only four people responsible for something like this.

"Potter! Lupin! Pettigrew! Black!"

Of course, it is not until a moment later, when she materializes in their dark dorm room, that she finally gets the offending party within her grasp. Here, there are no Christmas decorations except for the walled poster of the Naughty Witch of the Month who suggestively dons a Santa Hat. This is the only room that she has found devoid of the glittering fairy lights.

"Up, boys," the woman snaps, flicking her wand and dispelling the darkness.

Groans ring out across the walls, striking the room and breaking the peaceful quiet. Bed curtains are thrown open, shouts of indignation and shock are called out, and Remus commands that Sirius put a shirt on, at least. The boy in question leans back on his pillow and places his hands behind his head calmly.

"Oh, Minnie. You just couldn't get enough of me before Christmas. Do tell me you brought mistletoe."

With one glance at the professor, Frank Longbottom turns over in his bed, covering his head with a thick feather pillow. He knows almost instinctively that Minerva's visit has nothing to do with him.

"Boys, out of bed this instant. You will clean the mess you made, glad that I don't detain you for the Holiday and thankful that your months of detention will be saved for the new year."

Minerva makes that statement knowing full well that she could never keep them over the break as punishment. She turns to leave the room, satisfied that justice has been doled. Her words are crisp and defined, making no room for misinterpretation. But, all the same, a voice raises out to question her. Just as she should have expected.

"For what?" Remus asks, raising his voice and leaping from his bed, eyebrows fully furrowed and shoulders set.

On top of his monthly problem steadily approaching, Remus will not be dragged down on a prank he cannot take any credit for. She slowly raises one eyebrow and waits for one of them to take credit for it. When no one does, she points toward a curtain between Peter and Remus' beds.

"A look out of the window should give you your answer, Mister Lupin."

All four boys rush to the window, pushing aside the curtains. Professor McGonagall averts her eyes as Mr. Black has not thought to put on a shirt.

"Wicked," the four breathe in near unison.

The Professor has had more than enough. Rounding off her shoulders, she strides across the stones and latches two boys in each hand. Ushering them to the door and down the stair, she ignores the protestations of each boy. They adore avoiding consequences, but Minerva will have none of that. Not after they ruin her chances of a peaceful end of term transition.

"Minnie, this doesn't have our signature at all-"

"I appreciate their efforts to copy our style-"

"You can't just lump me in with them, Professor-"

"I didn't do it, Professor! I swear it-"

When they hit the common room, where a wide fort has been made of the Christmas colored fairy lights, the boys look around in wonder, momentarily ceasing their arguments. A few students look up from their chess game in the center of the common room, giving the boys and professor their momentary attention.

"Memories refreshed yet?" The professor asks, pushing them toward the portrait.

When the four of them are pushed from the common room and the portrait hole is closed, the three girls around the chess board spring to their feet.

"Shall we admire our handiwork, ladies?" Marlene says, offering her arms to her compatriots.

With giggles and nods of accession, the three girls wander out of the common room to watch the victims of their prank endure the rest of McGonagall's wrath.

Oh, it would be a happy Christmas indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Prompt: Marlene/Sirius; Yule Ball. The song featured in this chapter is "Baby Please Come Home" by Darlene Love. Please read and review!**

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When that songwriter said, "there won't be trumpets," he certainly had not been talking about Sirius Black asking a girl to the Yule Ball. Because, in that case, there were just enough trumpets, cherubs, frills, fireworks, string quartets, and tuxedos to make Marlene McKinnon turn a satisfying shade of bright pink. And, of course, say yes.

Marlene and Sirius were inseparable from the day, the very moment they met. Sirius tried to sit in hers and James' compartment on the first train ride to Hogwarts, and nothing was ever the same. They spent every holiday together at the Potter household (to escape their families, of course), ate every meal side-by-side (so his stream of girlfriends would have no opportunity to steal away his feeding time), and spent many nights sitting up in his bed, talking by candle light to escape the world around them (so neither of them could ever complain of being lonely).

So, to Sirius, it is only natural that she be the girl on his arm at their Seventh Year Yule Ball. Just like everything else that Sirius does, it is a huge production that took weeks in the planning, but Marlene would have been just as content had he walked up and said, "So, I guess we're going to the ball together, right?"

So after all the pomp and circumstance, Marlene cannot for the life of her understand why he disappears so suddenly in the thick of the ball. Classic wizarding tunes pour from the band, dancers flood the floor, and Christmas spirit fills the Great Hall to the point of overflowing. The image is perfect. But her date is gone. The image is incomplete.

She asks around, pulling on jackets and tapping on shoulders, until finally she gives up the enterprise completely. If he wants to waste his evening, then fine, but she will not let him blow her evening too. Leaving behind the crowd of Gryffindors surrounding the-now spiked- Egg Nog, she throws herself into the crowd of dancers, easily picking Lily out from the throng. The night takes on a merry tone once more as the party surrounds her friends.

And then, the music cuts. The lead singer of the band, The Scary Snitches, clears his throat and drops his hands from his instrument.

"Sorry, everyone. But we just got a request from a poor bloke who's been waiting for us to talk to him all night. This moron told us it would make his date fall in love with him, and we're suckers. So, clear the floor."

He makes a great show of waving his hands to the side so the dancers move out of the floor's center; Marlene and Lily give each other a glance and roll their eyes. What twit would think a song could make a girl fall in love?

But, when a single figure moves to the center of the circle from behind the stage, Marlene nearly slaps herself for not guessing it sooner. That twit is her twit. Of course it is. And, as he crosses the circle and nears her, smile as wide as his face, he holds his arms out to her.

"One, two, three, four-" the band's lead vocalist mutters into the microphone.

Drums. Piano. Guitar. The sound explodes and couples rush to the floor to show off their steps. It is Marlene's favorite Christmas tune, and the sound makes her heart race in her chest and her breath hitch. How could he possibly know? She narrows her eyes. He ditches her and then embarrasses her? Her arms cross her chest and she quirks an eyebrow as Sirius stands there, stupid smile across his stupid face and stupid arms outstretched to his stupid date.

"C'mon, Marlene. You know you want to."

She bites the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. She should be furious; he invites her and then abandons her and then expects things to be alright? But then, he quirks his own eyebrow, his smirk grows infinitely more pronounced, and he calls to her over the music.

"Marls. Lene. Marley Bear," he drags the words out, getting closer and closer until his arms are around her waist and their noses are touching.

Pushing away from him, she throws her hands in the air before smoothing her dress down.

"Fine! Fine."

Sirius' face lights up and grasps her wrist, taking a few steps backwards as he gauges her reaction.

"Do you remember the dance we did at the Potter's Christmas Party last year?"

Marlene gives him an indignant look.

"Remember it? I was the one who choreographed it."

And, so, Sirius pulls her out onto the floor, counting the eights in his head as the pair flits between step-touches and turns and lifts, ignoring the feeling as every pair of eyes in the hall trains on them. Sirius feels the overwhelming relief that, for once, his plans for he and Marlene worked out precisely as he dreamed. Marlene is just relieved that she has no more reason to be angry at him. They laugh and their eyes twinkle and, for a moment, everything is simply perfect.

Somewhere along the way, she supposes the music stops and changes. Hers and Sirius' steps reform themselves to something more slow and intimate; she ends up in his arms as the tune to "I'll be Home For Christmas" wafts through the air. The crowd around them thickens. Eyes pull away from them. The lights dim and false snow begins to drift down from the enchanted ceiling. She feels Sirius' arms close tightly around her, his head resting atop her own.

"Sirius?" She mutters into his dress robes.

His eyes raise.

"Hm?"

She readjusts her body and holds him a little closer as she thinks on the words that the band spoke before their dance interlude.

"You know this doesn't mean that I love you, right?"

The music tenses between them, dancing along the floor thickly. She hears Sirius breathe out something of a laugh.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

But, in the swell of the song's chorus, both knows that the other is lying. Sirius knows that Marlene is every bit as in love with him as he is with her. And Marlene knows that Sirius could never stand it if she wasn't.


End file.
